Thursday, October 13, 2011

I'll take OMG for $1,000 Please!!

Completely unexpected I came home this evening, went through the mail pile and there it was. A calendar of events from the doctors office!! We have a date.... December 12!!!

This has instantly become so real to me and mom today. I don't have the calendar in front of me right this second, but i think my shots begin like the 2nd week in November.

Time to get these contracts signed!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I see a light!

No call from the doctors office today, BUT a call from mom! She said she was at the "doctors office" this morning to finalize the egg donor. I'm so happy for her with this step. She said our doctor told her that we would be looking at December for our transfer and that she is finalizing dates and cycles, then would get me a calendar. You know what this means....back to waiting ; )
I have visuals and thoughts of giving her the best Christmas present EVER!!!

Monday, October 10, 2011

And...it's here!

I got my period last Wednesday night. Too late to call the "doctors office", so i waited til morning. Left a message for my doctor pretty early, as she was on her way between offices. Waited all day for a call backi, hoping I was getting a transfer date and no call. So around 4:15, i decided to try them back. They were closed.

Friday morning I called back again. Come to find out, my Doctor is out of the office all day. Lovely.
Got a call back later that day with instructions to start my birth control Sunday night and I will hear from her Monday or Tuesday. Monday has come and gone, no call. Crossing fingers my anxiety (good anxiety) is put to rest tomorrow with a phone call telling me whats next, the suspense is KILLING ME!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

So close, I can feel it!

I know that even once we actually get to transfer day there are still tons of possibilities and still a very long journey ahead to get to to our goal..But our journey in surrogacy thus far has been just as long. So, to be at the point where we are today - I can't help but feel so anxious and very positive.

I went to my ultrasound appointment last Tuesday and my lining from my "mock" was 8.4 and it needs to be at least 7.5. This means I finally passed the "mock" and we start the real deal!!!

We are working on bringing on my period now and on day one I need to call my doctor to tell her.
I'm really not sure what happens next but i know in a few days I will.

I have lots of unknowns at this time. The main one is wondering when our transfer date will be.

For now..i leave with this final note "COME ON PERIOD"    (this may be the first and last time I ever write that)

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Mock Cycle = Over ( i think )

My appointment already had a good vibe to it when i arrived early in hopes to getting out early enough to make it to work without being late. They took me right on in, a half an hour early. WOOT!!!

My Doctor was not in just yet so I would not be talking to them, just had my ultrasound. The ultrasound tech measured my lining and said it was definately thicker and should be right where we want it to be.
I left, went to work and waited. As my lunch approached, I still had not heard from the office so i called. Come to find out, my Doctor wasn't even in the office today. Nice, right? A nurse reviewed my ultrasound and told me to stop my meds. This is a good thing. Since this was just a mock, i'm pretty sure I stop all meds, get a period, and we start meds again. This is what I think. But for now, i'm going to go to bed and await my phone call tomorrow!

I did call "mom" tonight to. She has been through sooo much that it is hard for her to get excited about each step. I however, can't control my excitement with each step. So when i called her, i said to her - you need to get excited, this is it. I'm confident this is going to happen for you!
Then I said...jump up and down 3 times and scream. Just do it! Sure enough, she sat the phone down and did it.  ; )   She is closer now than she ever has been to becoming a mom and I am going to do whatever it takes to make it happen for her!  

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Getting a thicker lining...one day at a time!

I logged in tonight and couldn't believe that I didn't update my blog after my last appointment. I built up all of that excitement and just left it hanging.

So Rewind to that day first. I got to my appointment and was waiting in the waiting room when i heard the door open. Who was it? Idah! (the intended mom)   She had known about the appointment and wanted to surprise me. Isn't she awesome?? She said she knew how anxious I had been feeling and didn't want me to be alone.
I got called back to appointment, had my ultrasound done and.........
                                                            
                                                                                 NO. SPOT !!!!

Eat that uterus! If it wouldn't have been for some long camera thing hanging out from my insides, i would have done about 1,000 screams, jumps, hugs to the nurse, etc.....!! Lucky for her, i stayed put.

My doctor wasn't in yet so I had to leave there not knowing much else of what would happen from here.
I got to tell Idah who smiled from ear to ear and we shared a nice hug in the office. We then hung out in the parking lot talking for a bit, sharing some feelings, hopes, and just overall excitement about this whole thing.

Later that day I did get a call from my doctor, giving me the next weeks instructions. It was time to start an oral pill (estrodial) two times a day and lower my Lupron to 5 units each evening. Next followup appt - Tuesday Sept 20.

That was yesterday...

Again no doctor present. The nurse who was doing my ultrasound said that everything looks great but my uterine lining is still pretty thin. In medical terms - it should be at a 7.5 and I am at a 6.4. She did say this is pretty normal and its the reason why they the mock. This way they can see how much of what meds I need to get my lining right where it should be for the real deal.
Got a call from the Dr later that day who confirmed it is a little too thin to stop the mock. So i now up my dose of the oral meds to 3 times a day and i go back Tuesday.

Recap: Its all good under the hood and we are back to waiting!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Can't Sleep

It's 11:50 pm. I should really be sleeping by now. This whole week I have been such a night owl. I'm not sure what it is. The fact that I got a new car and I LOVE waking up to drive it, the floods that have been going on in our area and surrounding counties, or this appointment tomorrow. I'm gonna go with the likely answer - a bit of all!

Got a call tonight from "The Doctors Office". This is what they call themselves when they leave me messages. I thought that was kind of cool. I assumed they were going to cancel my appointment, but i figured it would have to be something of deep concern to do that since this is all about timing. They just needed to change which office i would go to, which in turn made it an earlier appointment. Another reason i should be in bed.

I sent Idah a text tonight to remind her. I was actually going to invite her to come to my appointment with me since Tim won't be able to go, then i had thoughts. What IF I hear those terrible words tomorrow. That this enfamous spot is there and infact, will hold up my surrogacy journey with them as well. Did I really want to be face to face with her at that moment. Ummm...I'll pass.
Fingers Crossed - I'll talk to u tomorrow!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

On My Own!

Lupron Injections started last week. With the chaos of getting Riley prepped for her first week at school, I almost forgot : x
Somehow, Something clicked and i remembered - just in time. However, My doctor was out of town ,Tim was at work. I was so nervous just thinking about having to do this myself. But, i did it. Good thing for me, its a very small, thin needle. Being the big girl that I am, I now do these injections myself! I do think Tim is a bit bummed and left out, but his time is coming. Hopefully. Only with a much bigger needle in my buttox.

I have an appt at the fertility center Friday morning at 9. This is make or break right here. I get butterflies just thinking about it. I will check in Friday night, hopefully ecstatic and not sad!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

In a way..still waiting.

Last Thursday was my appointment with The Fertility Center. Yes..a bit behind. Alot of things going on with my job, that has led me to be a temporary stay at home mom. I love every minute of it, but I am so much busier now than i was when i worked. How's that happen? My doctor did a brief interview with me and a quick exam. Nothing that actually went in and looked at the almighty "spot". On August 30, i will start my first injection of Lupron for the mock cycle. Sept 9 i go in for my first ultrasound. We leave at that...and wait.

Idah and I have been trying to plan a lunch date. She is a third shifter, so it gets tough.
She called me today to ask me to help her plan a baby shower for her friend who is pregnant with twins. How did she know that I LOVE this stuff! I'm again still on cloud 9 about all of this. Hoping, praying, fingers crossing that this all works out!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Who is up for a little game of....Waiting???

I spoke to the new clinic yesterday. Who actually isn't really new, they are my original clinic. Most likely I will not need any more testing done or updated bloodwork etc because we have just recently done all of that for the past IP's. Hopefully tomorrow Shady Grove (the x-clinic) will be faxing all of my records over to The Fertility Center (new clinic) tomorrow. The DR there said most likely a small spot of fluid will not hold us up, but she will take a look and I will also have an exam on Aug 9.

Spoke to Idah last night. I love her. She loves me. Enough said.

PLEASE let this work out for us!!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

A Second Chance???

I'm Back!!! I cannot believe the way that some things are working out right now. I don't want to get too overly excited just yet but here's the scoop...

Idah - who is the intended mom from my first possible surrogacy journey has been in contact with me over the past few weeks. See below if you forget. Due to the starting of a new journey, I really just had to put her in the back of my mind. Even though deep down I really wanted to be her surrogate, the new family was great and we had already begun the process. So when it didn't work out (with 2nd family) and then at the same time, Idah had been reaching out to me - it was so weird. I do always believe that things happen for a reason, but this to me was and still is just so weird.

I talked to Idah yesterday and told her i want to move forward with her. This has been such a roller coaster but here we go again. I will have an exam at her clinic, but we are hoping, praying, fingers & toes crossing that this is going to all work out and the enfamous spot is gone or not an issue.
I truly cannot believe that this has circled around like this.

Today at lunch, Idah called me. She is so happy right now and she is just such a sweet sweet woman! She is African and has a deep deep accent. I love our conversations. This just feels so right. Ok anyhow..when she called me I couldnt believe what she asked me.
Idah and her husband will be using an egg donor AND a sperm donor. I'm not sure how out of the norm this is, but i think at first the clinic was not going to allow it to happen - which is part of the reason this journey ended the first time. Supposedly, they are allowing it and hence the reason we're here now.
She asked me to go to this website she was given and help them find the perfect sperm donor! What an experience. We had a lot of fun and even think we found one. She has to call her clinic tomorrow and we will see if she can use him. She already has her egg donor picked so they have to have matching or able to paired up blood types and i'm sure there is more to it than that. She then called me and left me a voicemail later in the day that she is overjoyed and so anxious. Well Idah..so is this chic!!!

Soooo...Don't stop reading now - we are starting another journey!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The End.

Last week as i anxiously awaited my period to begin - my 2 year journey to be a surrogate mother became no longer a reality.

The Doctor from our clinic decided that the very "scant" spot of fluid that is hanging around on my uterus is too much of a risk for surrogacy. At least through them. This whole thing has been very odd to me. From previous post that I have written - We have been given the green light at my last appointment to start getting my cycle lined up with the egg donor.
Last Monday though - i got an email from the IF (intended father). Not a phone call from my nurse or from my doctor, an EMAIL from pretty much someone i barely knew. The email stated that the Doctor had a meeting with them today and recommended that they do not use me as a carrier. And of course they were going to go with his recommendation and find a new carrier. They stated that this was very upsetting to them because they really liked and trusted Tim and I, but felt they had to do whats best. Of course. If i was in their shoes, I would feel the same way.

However, this email came to me at 6pm on a Monday night. By this time I had no one to call to get information as to what the hell was going on and why no one professional had talked to me first? I pretty much assumed it was this fluid spot but I had to go all night worrying, wondering, and just sad that something I have been working towards for so long has just come to an end, that quick. Again at that.

After speaking to the nurse the next day she confirmed it was the spot and supposedly it was never to work out that the family told me before them. At this point anything else coming out of this nurses mouth sounded like Snoopy. Wah Wha Wah. I was just irritated, exhausted, frustrated. She then told me that the Dr would call me back on my lunch hour at work that day..did he, nope. He called back at 5:00 while i was still at work and of course when i went to call him back he was gone for the day. I'm not even bothering with him at this point. The nurse did call me back to check in if i had a chance to talk to the dr, i just told her no and at this point i will followup with my personal gynocologist.

The weird thing is - today I got a voicemail from the IM from my first failed attempt journey asking me to give her a call. If you recall a recent post stating that she had reached out to me a few weeks ago about moving forward and then i never heard back. I did call her back today but was unsuccessful in reaching her.

I really did feel like I found a calling for myself. I was certain i was gonna be the best surrogate for that special family. This was something that made my heart flutter each and every step and every time I would think about delivery day. But for now I must put it in the past. For the past 2 years I have focused on and used alot of my personal vacation time to get to appointments. I'm not ready to make it 3 years and not have a light at the end of the tunnel. I thank everyone for following my blog and of course thank you, THANK YOU to all of my friends and family members that have supported my decision and were there to help with my babies when we needed it! A bigger thank you to Tim. You were amazing in supporting me and my decisions for these past 2 years. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by side every day <3

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Trial Run = Over

So July 6th has come...and gone. So glad that wait is OVER! Mom is back to work, Jae had to work, so this meant Tim had to leave work a little early to be home for me to leave for Bel Air Wednesday morning at 6am. I really do not remember much of the ride there because thoughts were just parusing my mind the whole time. Even the elevator ride up to the clinic - don't remember that either. I went in, had my bloodwork and then she came in to do my ultrasound. The next words I remember quite well - "Miranda, everything is great!" She i'm sure thought I was a bit odd when i sat up as quick as I could and loudly said "Really, no fluid spots on my uterus?" I was quite a happy camper leaving the office. I just wanted to call Susan (the IM..intended mom, remember?) but our relationship level is not at that yet. So i called Tim and Mom and Jaelyn and emailed Becky...HA!!
I still had to wait almost all day to hear from my nurse as to what I do next. And actually my normal nurse was on vaca..so it was even longer than the norm. She told me that I need to take 5 days of Provera (a pill i take before i go to bed) and this is to bring on my period within a few days of the last dose. Tonight is my day 5. On day one of my period I am to notify my nurse. I think that this then starts the REAL cycle. However, I still have not heard from my nurse since she has been back from vacation so i really am not sure as to what will happen after day one. I'm sure I will hear from her tomorrow. It really isn't like her. She was on vaca for a few days so she could just be running a bit behind. In the meantime...We are starting to take care of contracts and getting them signed.
Wanna see the hottest doctor in town...? I love his faces ")

                               

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Moving On

Monday morning I woke up at the butt crack for my drive to Bel Air, MD for my ultrasound & bloodwork. Much thanks to mom for sleeping over sunday night to be here with the kids until Tim got home.
The drive is just about an hour and the appointments usually are not even 10 minutes.
She did my ultrasound which showed that everything looked fine but my uterine lining was still a little thick which was from my previous mock cycle. When i leave there, I still really have no idea what this means or what is going on. Since the person performing the US (ultrasound) is not my doctor, she cannot really discuss anything with me. So i leave and wait. and wait. and wait. Finally around 2:00 my nurse called me. Of course i can't answer because I'm at work so i wait. and wait. and wait some more.
My nurse says that the doctor thinks i just need a little progesterone to get me to ovulate and get my period. I had to pick up the script monday night and take one pill for 5 days. Tuesday morning I took my pill right after I got to work which was around 8:30. Literally at like 9:30 - i got my period. Coincidence? Not sure. Happy? Absolutely! I excitely emailed my nurse who called me back and told me it was time to start the mock cycle. I am over the moon! So starting today i have 2 different meds to take. The first is called Estrace. This is a small blue tablet that weirdly enough actually is a vaginal pill that I enter 2 times a day and the other is Del Estrogen which is in the form of an injection right in the upper area of my butt cheek, that I get once every 3 days. I posted pics of this one in an earlier post.
I will go july 6th for the followup on this and we go from there.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Just. Not. Sure

Been waiting for my period to begin - which at the latest should have been yesterday. Of course the first thing we did was a pregnancy test (actually two just to really be sure). Both were negative, so ok - what the heck is going on with my body. I have NEVER missed my period unless i was pregnant. Even during our last surrogate cycle for the original couple.

I wrote it in a previous blog when i wrote about the fluid in my uterus and i still stick to it. When i had that HSG done - something didnt go right. The pain was terrible and the cramping/discharge/spotting (a tad gross but ur only reading this if i truly know you, so suck it up) that came for weeks after it just didn't seem right. Other than that there has been nothing different between this cycle and the cycle I did the first time.
Last night I emailed my nurse who emailed the DR today who wants me to come in Monday morning for an ultrasound and bloodwork. I'm sure the bloodwork is just to be sure the pregnancy test isn't lying to me. However - these constant trips to the clinic are wearing me out. I've had a little break from them but I'm sure they are about to start up again. With these trips - i normally have to take an hour of my vacation time so that I am not late for work. Meaning i'm running out of hours that I can use for my own personal needs. None of this stuff mattered to me in the beginning. It just feels like everything is draaaggging right now though. I'm not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel like i used to. I'm not as excited as I used to be. Just get me over this hump PLEASE!

On top of all of this -
The mom from my first time around trying to be a surrogate called me out of the blue on Wednesday. A quick history on them because im not sure i talked much about them before. Mom's body won't get pregnant and i'm not quite sure if i even remember why she can't use her own eggs. They had been trying to have a baby for 11 years! Any procedure that could be done, was tried. They then turned to surrogacy. Then found yours truly! Their plan was to get an egg donor and use dads sperm. We didnt really talk to them much up front - we were just going with the flow of all the testing, injections, pills etc.. At some point during meds, i got a call to stop the process. Huh? Was it me? What happened? Nobody was telling me why or what. Finally one day mom called me and asked me to come meet her at her house. Very nervous and a little scared, I went. From the moment her and i met - we had a bond. I loved her and her husband. I couldnt wait for them to meet Tim and the kids, i had so many visuals. Including the best one - me handing them their new precious baby. We talked and they even fed me. They fed me Goat! She made me try it. It wasnt that bad but the sauce she had on it was so spicy i just couldn't take more than 3 bites. I was waiting and waiting for her to open up to me about what was going on. Are we or aren't we doing this. We aren't, was the outcome. There was some mixup betweem them and the fertility clinic that made dad so exhausted since he was the main one doing the testing, appts, etc. He just completely shut the process down. I can imagine as a woman wanting a child so bad that this just was not going to be acceptable. But i hardly knew them to judge or try to counsel her on what I think. So i shook my head ok and we watched American Idol. HA!
After that mom and i met up a few times for lunch. The last time at lunch was emotional. She really let out about how upset she was with dad and how bad, oh so bad that she wants to be a mom. That she was going to do anything. At this point we had already started working on some testing for the new family. I really didnt bring it up much to her because i didnt want to be put in that position at that moment. At the time of this luncheon though it had been months since her and I had talked. I suggested why not use and egg and a sperm donor. She said because you are not able to do that - at least thats what the clinic originally told her. That it had to be a biological part of someone who would be in the childs life i guess is a good way to put it. So this was all probably in november of last year. I had not spoken to her since until she sent me this text the other day. She told me that the clinic is willing to allow her to use the egg donor AND a sperm donor. She wants to move forward...with me. Soo bad i want to be her surrogate. So really bad. But now I have been going through this whole process with the new family. Contracts haven't been signed but the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. My heart is being pulled in two different directions. With original mom though..who knows what will really come out of it. For now I do believe i will continue with my current IF and if original mom is interested still after (hopefully) i have their little miracle - maybe we could do it again? Who knows. Time will tell.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Up til now...

Everything was going smooth. It's still not too off track...we can talk about that later. (curiousity kills, huh?? No scrolling ahead)

We met the IF (intended family), they chose to move forward and now what? TONS! You could not even imagine. I start off with a psychiatric exam and then it is a full load of blood work for both Tim and I. Testing for STD's, well disease in general. All good there. Good to know i'm not as psycho as Tim makes me out to be some days. lol
Seriously though - that process takes like 2 months.

For this surrogacy my IF is from VA and their main fertility clinic is in MD. So we already know there is some traveling involved. Once all testing was done, it was time for our first road trip. Tim and I both went on the drive to MD first. Ri and Ayden stayed with Aunt Jae for the day. Thanks Aunt jae <3 We met with the fertility DR who discussed the process with us, asked us why we wanted to this and then did a trial transfer. This is basically where the perform a mock procedure of how the implantation will be done. All OK here. Great! Then we were off to VA where we went to AppleBee's for lunch and then across the street to meet up with another psychiatrist. She asked Tim and I both questions about our past, present, and future. After that we got to meet up with the IF. We all 4 sat in with the psych and discussed our expectations of this surrogate. They are great people. I will discuss details of what we each want in a later post.

I left there feeling so good about why we were doing this and just daydreaming the whole ride home (while Tim slept) about the day I get to hopefully hand them their precious new baby.

After a whole additional list of blood work for yours truly..OH and an absolute terrible procedure called an HSG it was time to get moving. Side note: The HSG was done at the hospital. What this was used for was to be sure that both of my fallopian tubes were not being obstructed by anything. I had to have this balloon type "thing" inserted in and then it blew up and injected dye into the tubes. When the balloon would blow up - O.M.G - PAINFUL! and i am actually pretty good with pain. I'm hoping that never has to happen again. Ok so back on track now - This fertility clinic requires me to do a mock cycle with the medicines. Since I am not getting pregnant on my own, we need to fake my body out and "manually" prepare the goods.

The first medicine for the mock cycle is Estrogen. It is an injection that Tim gives me right in the upper pocket area of my butt....Lucky Him ;) he actually does very well and I actually get this goose bumpy feeling watching him take so much time, to be so careful, and making sure everything is sterile, in place, and ready to go. I know he enjoys it and for me..it really is not that bad at all. The thought of it, is worse than getting it. Within seconds it's over and we are one day closer. Here is a visual..no pic of Dr. Tim since we usually do this right before he walks out the door to work. The next round, I will be sure to share a pic of him in action.

The accessories


The real deal, scary looking huh??





     After the 2 weeks of shots it was time to make a trip to the Bel Air MD office for my ultrasound/bloodwork check-up. Thinking that all is perfect and certainly not expecting any bumps..BOOM smack in the face. I had formed some fluid on my uterus. What? Me? From where? How? I blame it on that terrible HSG i mentioned earlier..the DR says it could be from my C-Section with my little man. I don't believe them. But OK - this isnt life threatening, but could be a threat to me being a surrogate. I left there a bit down but had Tim with me so it was easy to keep my mind off of it. The next step was a followup with a different DR to get this fluid out. My mom went with me and had a front row seat for the procedure. ha! She swears she wasnt watching...suuuure mother. She said all she was hoping was that when they did the ultrasound she didnt see a baby in there. ha! This procedure was pretty uncomfortable as well but was over in no time and when i left the DR was very convinced that it was all gone and i'd be all good. 2 days later, another trip to Bel Air for a check. My uterine lining (the reason i was taking the injection) was perfect, but i'll be darn - there was fluid again on my uterus. Again, i say the DR just didnt get it all out.. Nurse said it was a possibility. Dr did the procedure yet again. I leave praying i NEVER have to do that again either.
The next week is on hold because i got my period.
This whole time I am no longer on birth control or any other meds for that matter. Sorry Tim. Enough said there.
Just about caught up. Whew. I gotta stay with it here.

It was a very long 2 weeks until it was time to go to Bel Air again. These trips take about an hour to get there. My appts are usually at 7:45am. My mom has been spending the night before so that she can be here to get up with the tator tots until Tim gets home from work. I've been going alone, which is ok for the most part. I really do like the scenery.
The wait was over. Friday May 20th I had my ultrasound. At first she said that there was no fluid - YES YES YES. Errrr WRONG WRONG WRONG. She then came back and said "the harder i push down, i do see a very scant amount" I was so overly frustrated, upset, and just a wide mix of emotions. I don't even remember walking out of the office that morning. See, they can't tell me anything at the office. I need to wait to hear from my personal nurse Vivian. Off to work i drove..not wanting to sing to music, not talking on the phone, just blah.Wondering if my surrogate dreams were over, thinking about how my IF family is going to be crushed, wondering if this will prevent me from having another child of my own if that became an option. Oh i just could scream but..i can easily make myself think positive and get out of a funk, so the closer to work I got the better i started to make myself feel. I gotta still move along and wait...
Finally around 3:30 Vivian called. My heart was racing. I got the best news. We can move forward. The DR thinks everything is great! I was so excited i shed a few tears and just got her off the phone. Didnt even ask one question about that scant fluid. I didnt care. The DR says its good, its good and lets go! 
However due to the fluid he wants to do another mock cycle first. So when I get my next period - like 2 weeks, we will start the injections again for 2 weeks, go for an ultrasound and hopefully we will start the real cycle right after!
To top it off...the IF emailed me that day just saying how relieved they were that I am ok and how comfortable they feel with Tim and I <3

Long, right?? I plan to post some more just giving some info about surrogacy in the next few days. But I won't have much more to update until we start the injections in 2-3 weeks. Ta-Ta for now!!  ;)

Friday, May 6, 2011

How did we get here??

That is the question...the #1 question to be exact. So here is MY story, OUR journey, and hopefully in the end - THEIR new precious family member(s)!!

Growing up..pregnancy fascinated me. I read any book that had a pregnancy in it, I watched any tv show/movie that would be about pregnancy or someone having a baby, and I dreamt of the day that it would be me. When my time came, it was more than I ever imagined. It was better than the movies! Just wish I could've lost the weight as fast as those women did! I LOVED being pregnant. I'm also a person that loves to give. I will give to anyone if can. So when you combine these two loves...you get surrogacy. In the back of my mind, I knew someday I would love to give somebody their dream of being a mother/father. Feeling that love like I now have. Everyone in the world should have a love like having your own child in their lifetime. (Even if that is in the form of an animal instead of a human child, for some)

In 2009, Tim had come across an ad where an agency had been looking for surrogate moms. WOW...can you imagine the thoughts in my head when HE came to ME about it? He must have thought about it on his own for a few days because it wasn't immediate that he told me. Tim is one of the most supporting people I have ever met. You will agree as we continue through this journey. Anything I wanna do...he is usually at agreeance.(as i am for him as well, had to add that) Except when it comes to shopping..hmmm?? We talked about it and by the end of that week I had filled out the application, did a backround check and Boom!, I was now listed in what I like to think was a book of other possible surrogate mom profiles. So fast, but so exciting. scary. anxious.

Within I'd say 2 months we were called. There was a family right here in York that had wanted to move further with us. We went thru most of the motions and then it just stopped. Here to find out that the family had some personal issues and were no longer moving on. I did build a relationship with the intended mom (the term used for the soon to be mother) and we have met up a few times. We were all sad that the process ended. The surrogate agency asked me if I would still keep my profile open..so why not?

6 months later...
We get a call asking if we are ready. Ummm..Errrr...Are we? YES!! YES!! I am sooo ready, let's go!
We met the IP's (intended parents) at the Isaac's here in York one Saturday afternoon. I felt an instant connection with them in only the hour we were together. We laughed, shared family stories, had a Penguin of course (ha!) and left. Monday got the call I been waiting for all weekend " the IP's want to move forward'.
It's probably weird but i can remember thinking for a little bit that day "i wonder why? i wonder what i said, or what i did that they chose us?" Someday - maybe i will know. For now, i feel truly honored and I am just going to sit back and enjoy this ride (most of it, anyhow).
As of today we are a few months into it, (not preggers yet) so i have to catch you ALL up. Once I'm done there - I think i will play a Q&A game so as we go thru this, u understand a little more from where I am coming from, where Tim is coming from, and of course - what my own little offspring think.