Monday, May 23, 2011

Up til now...

Everything was going smooth. It's still not too off track...we can talk about that later. (curiousity kills, huh?? No scrolling ahead)

We met the IF (intended family), they chose to move forward and now what? TONS! You could not even imagine. I start off with a psychiatric exam and then it is a full load of blood work for both Tim and I. Testing for STD's, well disease in general. All good there. Good to know i'm not as psycho as Tim makes me out to be some days. lol
Seriously though - that process takes like 2 months.

For this surrogacy my IF is from VA and their main fertility clinic is in MD. So we already know there is some traveling involved. Once all testing was done, it was time for our first road trip. Tim and I both went on the drive to MD first. Ri and Ayden stayed with Aunt Jae for the day. Thanks Aunt jae <3 We met with the fertility DR who discussed the process with us, asked us why we wanted to this and then did a trial transfer. This is basically where the perform a mock procedure of how the implantation will be done. All OK here. Great! Then we were off to VA where we went to AppleBee's for lunch and then across the street to meet up with another psychiatrist. She asked Tim and I both questions about our past, present, and future. After that we got to meet up with the IF. We all 4 sat in with the psych and discussed our expectations of this surrogate. They are great people. I will discuss details of what we each want in a later post.

I left there feeling so good about why we were doing this and just daydreaming the whole ride home (while Tim slept) about the day I get to hopefully hand them their precious new baby.

After a whole additional list of blood work for yours truly..OH and an absolute terrible procedure called an HSG it was time to get moving. Side note: The HSG was done at the hospital. What this was used for was to be sure that both of my fallopian tubes were not being obstructed by anything. I had to have this balloon type "thing" inserted in and then it blew up and injected dye into the tubes. When the balloon would blow up - O.M.G - PAINFUL! and i am actually pretty good with pain. I'm hoping that never has to happen again. Ok so back on track now - This fertility clinic requires me to do a mock cycle with the medicines. Since I am not getting pregnant on my own, we need to fake my body out and "manually" prepare the goods.

The first medicine for the mock cycle is Estrogen. It is an injection that Tim gives me right in the upper pocket area of my butt....Lucky Him ;) he actually does very well and I actually get this goose bumpy feeling watching him take so much time, to be so careful, and making sure everything is sterile, in place, and ready to go. I know he enjoys it and for really is not that bad at all. The thought of it, is worse than getting it. Within seconds it's over and we are one day closer. Here is a pic of Dr. Tim since we usually do this right before he walks out the door to work. The next round, I will be sure to share a pic of him in action.

The accessories

The real deal, scary looking huh??

     After the 2 weeks of shots it was time to make a trip to the Bel Air MD office for my ultrasound/bloodwork check-up. Thinking that all is perfect and certainly not expecting any bumps..BOOM smack in the face. I had formed some fluid on my uterus. What? Me? From where? How? I blame it on that terrible HSG i mentioned earlier..the DR says it could be from my C-Section with my little man. I don't believe them. But OK - this isnt life threatening, but could be a threat to me being a surrogate. I left there a bit down but had Tim with me so it was easy to keep my mind off of it. The next step was a followup with a different DR to get this fluid out. My mom went with me and had a front row seat for the procedure. ha! She swears she wasnt watching...suuuure mother. She said all she was hoping was that when they did the ultrasound she didnt see a baby in there. ha! This procedure was pretty uncomfortable as well but was over in no time and when i left the DR was very convinced that it was all gone and i'd be all good. 2 days later, another trip to Bel Air for a check. My uterine lining (the reason i was taking the injection) was perfect, but i'll be darn - there was fluid again on my uterus. Again, i say the DR just didnt get it all out.. Nurse said it was a possibility. Dr did the procedure yet again. I leave praying i NEVER have to do that again either.
The next week is on hold because i got my period.
This whole time I am no longer on birth control or any other meds for that matter. Sorry Tim. Enough said there.
Just about caught up. Whew. I gotta stay with it here.

It was a very long 2 weeks until it was time to go to Bel Air again. These trips take about an hour to get there. My appts are usually at 7:45am. My mom has been spending the night before so that she can be here to get up with the tator tots until Tim gets home from work. I've been going alone, which is ok for the most part. I really do like the scenery.
The wait was over. Friday May 20th I had my ultrasound. At first she said that there was no fluid - YES YES YES. Errrr WRONG WRONG WRONG. She then came back and said "the harder i push down, i do see a very scant amount" I was so overly frustrated, upset, and just a wide mix of emotions. I don't even remember walking out of the office that morning. See, they can't tell me anything at the office. I need to wait to hear from my personal nurse Vivian. Off to work i drove..not wanting to sing to music, not talking on the phone, just blah.Wondering if my surrogate dreams were over, thinking about how my IF family is going to be crushed, wondering if this will prevent me from having another child of my own if that became an option. Oh i just could scream but..i can easily make myself think positive and get out of a funk, so the closer to work I got the better i started to make myself feel. I gotta still move along and wait...
Finally around 3:30 Vivian called. My heart was racing. I got the best news. We can move forward. The DR thinks everything is great! I was so excited i shed a few tears and just got her off the phone. Didnt even ask one question about that scant fluid. I didnt care. The DR says its good, its good and lets go! 
However due to the fluid he wants to do another mock cycle first. So when I get my next period - like 2 weeks, we will start the injections again for 2 weeks, go for an ultrasound and hopefully we will start the real cycle right after!
To top it off...the IF emailed me that day just saying how relieved they were that I am ok and how comfortable they feel with Tim and I <3

Long, right?? I plan to post some more just giving some info about surrogacy in the next few days. But I won't have much more to update until we start the injections in 2-3 weeks. Ta-Ta for now!!  ;)

Friday, May 6, 2011

How did we get here??

That is the question...the #1 question to be exact. So here is MY story, OUR journey, and hopefully in the end - THEIR new precious family member(s)!!

Growing up..pregnancy fascinated me. I read any book that had a pregnancy in it, I watched any tv show/movie that would be about pregnancy or someone having a baby, and I dreamt of the day that it would be me. When my time came, it was more than I ever imagined. It was better than the movies! Just wish I could've lost the weight as fast as those women did! I LOVED being pregnant. I'm also a person that loves to give. I will give to anyone if can. So when you combine these two get surrogacy. In the back of my mind, I knew someday I would love to give somebody their dream of being a mother/father. Feeling that love like I now have. Everyone in the world should have a love like having your own child in their lifetime. (Even if that is in the form of an animal instead of a human child, for some)

In 2009, Tim had come across an ad where an agency had been looking for surrogate moms. WOW...can you imagine the thoughts in my head when HE came to ME about it? He must have thought about it on his own for a few days because it wasn't immediate that he told me. Tim is one of the most supporting people I have ever met. You will agree as we continue through this journey. Anything I wanna do...he is usually at agreeance.(as i am for him as well, had to add that) Except when it comes to shopping..hmmm?? We talked about it and by the end of that week I had filled out the application, did a backround check and Boom!, I was now listed in what I like to think was a book of other possible surrogate mom profiles. So fast, but so exciting. scary. anxious.

Within I'd say 2 months we were called. There was a family right here in York that had wanted to move further with us. We went thru most of the motions and then it just stopped. Here to find out that the family had some personal issues and were no longer moving on. I did build a relationship with the intended mom (the term used for the soon to be mother) and we have met up a few times. We were all sad that the process ended. The surrogate agency asked me if I would still keep my profile why not?

6 months later...
We get a call asking if we are ready. Ummm..Errrr...Are we? YES!! YES!! I am sooo ready, let's go!
We met the IP's (intended parents) at the Isaac's here in York one Saturday afternoon. I felt an instant connection with them in only the hour we were together. We laughed, shared family stories, had a Penguin of course (ha!) and left. Monday got the call I been waiting for all weekend " the IP's want to move forward'.
It's probably weird but i can remember thinking for a little bit that day "i wonder why? i wonder what i said, or what i did that they chose us?" Someday - maybe i will know. For now, i feel truly honored and I am just going to sit back and enjoy this ride (most of it, anyhow).
As of today we are a few months into it, (not preggers yet) so i have to catch you ALL up. Once I'm done there - I think i will play a Q&A game so as we go thru this, u understand a little more from where I am coming from, where Tim is coming from, and of course - what my own little offspring think.