Who is up for a little game of....Waiting???

I spoke to the new clinic yesterday. Who actually isn't really new, they are my original clinic. Most likely I will not need any more testing done or updated bloodwork etc because we have just recently done all of that for the past IP's. Hopefully tomorrow Shady Grove (the x-clinic) will be faxing all of my records over to The Fertility Center (new clinic) tomorrow. The DR there said most likely a small spot of fluid will not hold us up, but she will take a look and I will also have an exam on Aug 9.

Spoke to Idah last night. I love her. She loves me. Enough said.

PLEASE let this work out for us!!

A Second Chance???

I'm Back!!! I cannot believe the way that some things are working out right now. I don't want to get too overly excited just yet but here's the scoop...

Idah - who is the intended mom from my first possible surrogacy journey has been in contact with me over the past few weeks. See below if you forget. Due to the starting of a new journey, I really just had to put her in the back of my mind. Even though deep down I really wanted to be her surrogate, the new family was great and we had already begun the process. So when it didn't work out (with 2nd family) and then at the same time, Idah had been reaching out to me - it was so weird. I do always believe that things happen for a reason, but this to me was and still is just so weird.

I talked to Idah yesterday and told her i want to move forward with her. This has been such a roller coaster but here we go again. I will have an exam at her clinic, but we are hoping, praying, fingers & toes crossing that this is going to all work out and the enfamous spot is gone or not an issue.
I truly cannot believe that this has circled around like this.

Today at lunch, Idah called me. She is so happy right now and she is just such a sweet sweet woman! She is African and has a deep deep accent. I love our conversations. This just feels so right. Ok anyhow..when she called me I couldnt believe what she asked me.
Idah and her husband will be using an egg donor AND a sperm donor. I'm not sure how out of the norm this is, but i think at first the clinic was not going to allow it to happen - which is part of the reason this journey ended the first time. Supposedly, they are allowing it and hence the reason we're here now.
She asked me to go to this website she was given and help them find the perfect sperm donor! What an experience. We had a lot of fun and even think we found one. She has to call her clinic tomorrow and we will see if she can use him. She already has her egg donor picked so they have to have matching or able to paired up blood types and i'm sure there is more to it than that. She then called me and left me a voicemail later in the day that she is overjoyed and so anxious. Well Idah..so is this chic!!!

Soooo...Don't stop reading now - we are starting another journey!!

The End.

Last week as i anxiously awaited my period to begin - my 2 year journey to be a surrogate mother became no longer a reality.

The Doctor from our clinic decided that the very "scant" spot of fluid that is hanging around on my uterus is too much of a risk for surrogacy. At least through them. This whole thing has been very odd to me. From previous post that I have written - We have been given the green light at my last appointment to start getting my cycle lined up with the egg donor.
Last Monday though - i got an email from the IF (intended father). Not a phone call from my nurse or from my doctor, an EMAIL from pretty much someone i barely knew. The email stated that the Doctor had a meeting with them today and recommended that they do not use me as a carrier. And of course they were going to go with his recommendation and find a new carrier. They stated that this was very upsetting to them because they really liked and trusted Tim and I, but felt they had to do whats best. Of course. If i was in their shoes, I would feel the same way.

However, this email came to me at 6pm on a Monday night. By this time I had no one to call to get information as to what the hell was going on and why no one professional had talked to me first? I pretty much assumed it was this fluid spot but I had to go all night worrying, wondering, and just sad that something I have been working towards for so long has just come to an end, that quick. Again at that.

After speaking to the nurse the next day she confirmed it was the spot and supposedly it was never to work out that the family told me before them. At this point anything else coming out of this nurses mouth sounded like Snoopy. Wah Wha Wah. I was just irritated, exhausted, frustrated. She then told me that the Dr would call me back on my lunch hour at work that day..did he, nope. He called back at 5:00 while i was still at work and of course when i went to call him back he was gone for the day. I'm not even bothering with him at this point. The nurse did call me back to check in if i had a chance to talk to the dr, i just told her no and at this point i will followup with my personal gynocologist.

The weird thing is - today I got a voicemail from the IM from my first failed attempt journey asking me to give her a call. If you recall a recent post stating that she had reached out to me a few weeks ago about moving forward and then i never heard back. I did call her back today but was unsuccessful in reaching her.

I really did feel like I found a calling for myself. I was certain i was gonna be the best surrogate for that special family. This was something that made my heart flutter each and every step and every time I would think about delivery day. But for now I must put it in the past. For the past 2 years I have focused on and used alot of my personal vacation time to get to appointments. I'm not ready to make it 3 years and not have a light at the end of the tunnel. I thank everyone for following my blog and of course thank you, THANK YOU to all of my friends and family members that have supported my decision and were there to help with my babies when we needed it! A bigger thank you to Tim. You were amazing in supporting me and my decisions for these past 2 years. I couldn't ask for a better person to be by side every day <3

Trial Run = Over

So July 6th has come...and gone. So glad that wait is OVER! Mom is back to work, Jae had to work, so this meant Tim had to leave work a little early to be home for me to leave for Bel Air Wednesday morning at 6am. I really do not remember much of the ride there because thoughts were just parusing my mind the whole time. Even the elevator ride up to the clinic - don't remember that either. I went in, had my bloodwork and then she came in to do my ultrasound. The next words I remember quite well - "Miranda, everything is great!" She i'm sure thought I was a bit odd when i sat up as quick as I could and loudly said "Really, no fluid spots on my uterus?" I was quite a happy camper leaving the office. I just wanted to call Susan (the IM..intended mom, remember?) but our relationship level is not at that yet. So i called Tim and Mom and Jaelyn and emailed Becky...HA!!
I still had to wait almost all day to hear from my nurse as to what I do next. And actually my normal nurse was on vaca..so it was even longer than the norm. She told me that I need to take 5 days of Provera (a pill i take before i go to bed) and this is to bring on my period within a few days of the last dose. Tonight is my day 5. On day one of my period I am to notify my nurse. I think that this then starts the REAL cycle. However, I still have not heard from my nurse since she has been back from vacation so i really am not sure as to what will happen after day one. I'm sure I will hear from her tomorrow. It really isn't like her. She was on vaca for a few days so she could just be running a bit behind. In the meantime...We are starting to take care of contracts and getting them signed.
Wanna see the hottest doctor in town...? I love his faces ")