My journey and I are still alive, yes

Sorry for the delay. I wonder somedays if I was told ahead of time how much patience I would need for this journey, had i done it? I also am finding myself with this and realizing that i really do have more patience than i ever imagined. And how when so many people tell me that they are in awe of my "go with the flow" attitude, I don't even flinch. I'm not quite sure what they are seeing, but to me - i'm just patiently waiting for something I KNOW that i was put on this earth to do, to happen.

Let me catch up. We had the transfer set for December 12th. About 2 weeks before the clinic calls me and tells me that because the contracts have yet to be signed by all parties, the process has to stop. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!???  I had no idea this was even a possibilty. Apparently mom knew that there was a deadline and didn't mention it to me. Why did we not meet the deadline...??  Here's a little story from what i know...

Dad has decided to not continue with this journey for a few reasons. I may have talked about this in the past. I really do not know all of the details, however the ones I do are pretty detailed so i'm not going to get into anymore than i already have.  Since he has chosen to not go thru, mom now needs to begin this process as a single mom. She had to get all of kinds of OK's from lawyers that it will be accepted for her to do it. This is what held us up. But because we have an egg donor, a sperm donor, and a surrogate involved and it was time for meds to begin: no contract = no meds. I was left at this message "Call us when you get your period"

Yesterday morning, I got my period. Yesterday morning I also got a call from mom.
Mom said that the egg donor she had was "no longer available"  She isnt sure what that means and neither do I.( Because of HIPPA we will probably never know either). But in my head part of me feels so so SO bad for her and the other is like OMG what did i ever get myself in to! How long is this now going to hold us up? I'm going to be 40 and pregnant at this rate!
I called the DR this morning to tell her the news of Aunt Flo and she said Great, we're right on schedule. Mom goes in on Friday to pick a new egg donor and i sit back, take birth control, and wait for my new calendar to come in the mail. Fingers crossed, prayers needed that THIS is it. This has to be it!

I'll take OMG for $1,000 Please!!

Completely unexpected I came home this evening, went through the mail pile and there it was. A calendar of events from the doctors office!! We have a date.... December 12!!!

This has instantly become so real to me and mom today. I don't have the calendar in front of me right this second, but i think my shots begin like the 2nd week in November.

Time to get these contracts signed!

I see a light!

No call from the doctors office today, BUT a call from mom! She said she was at the "doctors office" this morning to finalize the egg donor. I'm so happy for her with this step. She said our doctor told her that we would be looking at December for our transfer and that she is finalizing dates and cycles, then would get me a calendar. You know what this means....back to waiting ; )
I have visuals and thoughts of giving her the best Christmas present EVER!!!

And...it's here!

I got my period last Wednesday night. Too late to call the "doctors office", so i waited til morning. Left a message for my doctor pretty early, as she was on her way between offices. Waited all day for a call backi, hoping I was getting a transfer date and no call. So around 4:15, i decided to try them back. They were closed.

Friday morning I called back again. Come to find out, my Doctor is out of the office all day. Lovely.
Got a call back later that day with instructions to start my birth control Sunday night and I will hear from her Monday or Tuesday. Monday has come and gone, no call. Crossing fingers my anxiety (good anxiety) is put to rest tomorrow with a phone call telling me whats next, the suspense is KILLING ME!

So close, I can feel it!

I know that even once we actually get to transfer day there are still tons of possibilities and still a very long journey ahead to get to to our goal..But our journey in surrogacy thus far has been just as long. So, to be at the point where we are today - I can't help but feel so anxious and very positive.

I went to my ultrasound appointment last Tuesday and my lining from my "mock" was 8.4 and it needs to be at least 7.5. This means I finally passed the "mock" and we start the real deal!!!

We are working on bringing on my period now and on day one I need to call my doctor to tell her.
I'm really not sure what happens next but i know in a few days I will.

I have lots of unknowns at this time. The main one is wondering when our transfer date will be.

For now..i leave with this final note "COME ON PERIOD"    (this may be the first and last time I ever write that)

Mock Cycle = Over ( i think )

My appointment already had a good vibe to it when i arrived early in hopes to getting out early enough to make it to work without being late. They took me right on in, a half an hour early. WOOT!!!

My Doctor was not in just yet so I would not be talking to them, just had my ultrasound. The ultrasound tech measured my lining and said it was definately thicker and should be right where we want it to be.
I left, went to work and waited. As my lunch approached, I still had not heard from the office so i called. Come to find out, my Doctor wasn't even in the office today. Nice, right? A nurse reviewed my ultrasound and told me to stop my meds. This is a good thing. Since this was just a mock, i'm pretty sure I stop all meds, get a period, and we start meds again. This is what I think. But for now, i'm going to go to bed and await my phone call tomorrow!

I did call "mom" tonight to. She has been through sooo much that it is hard for her to get excited about each step. I however, can't control my excitement with each step. So when i called her, i said to her - you need to get excited, this is it. I'm confident this is going to happen for you!
Then I said...jump up and down 3 times and scream. Just do it! Sure enough, she sat the phone down and did it.  ; )   She is closer now than she ever has been to becoming a mom and I am going to do whatever it takes to make it happen for her!  

Getting a thicker lining...one day at a time!

I logged in tonight and couldn't believe that I didn't update my blog after my last appointment. I built up all of that excitement and just left it hanging.

So Rewind to that day first. I got to my appointment and was waiting in the waiting room when i heard the door open. Who was it? Idah! (the intended mom)   She had known about the appointment and wanted to surprise me. Isn't she awesome?? She said she knew how anxious I had been feeling and didn't want me to be alone.
I got called back to appointment, had my ultrasound done and.........
                                                            
                                                                                 NO. SPOT !!!!

Eat that uterus! If it wouldn't have been for some long camera thing hanging out from my insides, i would have done about 1,000 screams, jumps, hugs to the nurse, etc.....!! Lucky for her, i stayed put.

My doctor wasn't in yet so I had to leave there not knowing much else of what would happen from here.
I got to tell Idah who smiled from ear to ear and we shared a nice hug in the office. We then hung out in the parking lot talking for a bit, sharing some feelings, hopes, and just overall excitement about this whole thing.

Later that day I did get a call from my doctor, giving me the next weeks instructions. It was time to start an oral pill (estrodial) two times a day and lower my Lupron to 5 units each evening. Next followup appt - Tuesday Sept 20.

That was yesterday...

Again no doctor present. The nurse who was doing my ultrasound said that everything looks great but my uterine lining is still pretty thin. In medical terms - it should be at a 7.5 and I am at a 6.4. She did say this is pretty normal and its the reason why they the mock. This way they can see how much of what meds I need to get my lining right where it should be for the real deal.
Got a call from the Dr later that day who confirmed it is a little too thin to stop the mock. So i now up my dose of the oral meds to 3 times a day and i go back Tuesday.

Recap: Its all good under the hood and we are back to waiting!